3 things an executive can do: influencing in passive-aggressive cultures
The Chief Digital Officer (CDO) had a compelling vision for leading a digital transformation that would be critical to remaining a viable competitor in their marketplace. She was hired to deliver on this innovation, and everyone knew that without implementing this vision, the company would not survive for more than four or five more years.
Yet, the CDO could not get her C-Suite peers to have a reasonable debate and reach a decision on a path forward. The rest of the leadership team was avoiding the issue, and her attempts to engage them went unanswered. They weren’t hostile, and in fact expressed agreement on the importance of the change—they just refused to respond and take needed action. Because the company had this “nice” culture that avoided even healthy debate, the CDO was completely frustrated. She was losing ground rapidly, and yet was under the gun to deliver. She didn’t know what to do.
During a coaching session, she said to me, “Do I express my frustration and risk being seen as angry? That will not get me far. So how can I be authentic without upsetting my peers? I am tired of being ‘nice’ and getting nowhere! There are two big non-traditional competitors out there who will eat our lunch if we do not act now. Don’t they see that inaction will lead to the death of the company? I was given responsibility for a mission-critical job, yet no one wants to debate it or make any decisions! I’m going crazy!”
“Nice” cultures: death by a thousand unspoken cuts
The CDO was describing a passive-aggressive organization. These cultures are not rare. In fact, studies have found that over 25% of companies can be classified as passive aggressive. On the surface, everyone is friendly, which makes reaching consensus easy. The problem is that the consensus is really false agreement since it was reached without constructive debate. As a result, few people are really committed to the decision since they gave in rather than buying into the decision. So, everyone drags their feet when it comes to supporting implementation.
A common symptom of false consensus is second guessing. Since team members don’t express their true concerns the first time around, they may bring up a concern or a question later, after you thought the team had made a decision. And since no one likes confrontation, the second guessing brings everything to a halt.
Everyone is pleasant, but nothing can get done. And this can go on for months, if not years. Meanwhile, the company’s competitors are starting to steal market share.
3 things a leader can do
We worked with this leader to plan her path. These three actions, when done in combination, can unlock conversation, collaboration, healthier debate, as well as a way to accelerate your ideas, while navigating the culture of “nice.”
- Make the case – the executive team needs to be persuaded on the value and benefits to move off their position
Explain, in simple language, why the company needs a digital transformation now. Use a few key pieces of data. For example, tell a quick but compelling 2-3-minute story of how a customer filed a complaint because the company’s databases did not talk to each other. Or refer to an industry study that makes the case for the need for a transformation. Show data that is important to your audience – your C-Suite peers.The goal is to show them you need to take action now. - Explore their resistance – understanding what’s behind their behavior helps you to connect to what matters to them
Of course, as you are making your case, your audience is thinking of all the reasons not to take any bold actions.To break the norm of a passive-aggressive culture, it is important to make it safer for people to voice their concerns. You need to understand their resistance, not ignore it. How can you deal with their resistance if you do not know what it is? You want concerns out in the open, rather than buried under a veneer of “nice.” The trick is to create the setting to make this comfortable and productive.
In this case, we coached the CDO to break down the executive team into groups of 3 or 4 people and start the conversation with something like, “You all have heard my plans for a digital transformation. I know I probably didn’t think of everything. Maybe there are some unintended consequences I haven’t considered. Or maybe I am not aware of some data you have. Or maybe parts of my plan seem ambiguous or not clear. In your breakout groups, I’d like you to discuss your biggest concerns and questions. I need to know them so I can make the right tweaks to my plan. Come back with a list of your biggest concerns.”
By doing this, she is giving them permission to challenge her. But, at the same time, she is making it clear she is going ahead with her plan. This process is a good authentic way to display both the humility required in a “nice” culture, as well as the assertiveness needed to get things done.
Hopefully, this type of exercise will yield some insights into their real resistance, which makes it easier to respond to concerns, and possibly adjust your plans to meet their needs. And sometimes you will not be able to meet their needs, but at least they will feel heard, and you may be able to offer an alternative solution. For example, you can say, “I understand this initiative will take resources away from you, but this mission-critical project is in the best interest of the company and will keep us sustainable. Perhaps we can find some way to give you some temporary help.”
By hearing and responding to their concerns, you are increasing the chance of buy-in and hopefully minimizing the second guessing that often comes later.
If you have successfully made your business case (step #1 above) and you have been given the responsibility to transform the company, you do not need to make sure everyone agrees with you 100%. The goal of decision-making, even consensus, is not unanimity, but unity.And once you have that unity – the agreement to proceed with the transformation – the next step is to rally the troops. - Inspire the troops – lay the groundwork to engage and inspire everyone to do their part in delivering on the transformation
Once the C-Suite is united around the vision of the digital transformation, it’s time to get everyone, not just the executive team, on board. Often, a leader can have the right vision, but the troops will stifle execution. Especially in a passive-aggressive culture, a functional or department head may be talking negatively about your vision to their people but saying positive things to your face. Talking to and hearing from people directly eliminates the backchanneling and filter.
One powerful option is to go on a “vision tour” and meet with the various departments and functions to explain the vision and answer questions. For our CDO, ideally, she would be accompanied by the CEO and the department leader.
A successful vision tour focuses on two points:
- Demonstrating how the change will benefit the audience
Everyone probably has a horror story about the current situation that is leading up to the change – it could be something like how frustrated they are when trying to get accurate information quickly, or how their systems do not talk to each other. Share a short story from someone in that function about their pain points and draw the connection to the change. Show how you understand their frustrations and how this initiative will make their work life better
- Giving people a chance to ask questions and express their concerns
Consider convening a virtual or in-person town hall. Ask people to get together in small groups and come up with three questions or concerns. Have a spokesperson from each group take turns sharing a concern. Answer as many of these questions are possible. It is important to be as honest and transparent as you can. If you do not know the answer or need more time to give one, say so, but be sure to get back to the group with a response as soon as possible. By being authentic and honest, people will begin to trust you and see you have the best interest of the enterprise at heart. In passive-aggressive cultures, people are used to leaders saying everything will be fine when everyone knows everything will not be “fine.” You will gain lots of credibility if you are honest with people about the challenges change brings.
And just as important, you will model a way to be “nice” and respectful without the need to avoid difficult conversations.
Be appropriately nice and appropriately assertive
If you follow these three steps, you will greatly increase your ability to influence change. True, you can’t change a passive-aggressive culture overnight. But you can take some actions to minimize the chances that your ideas will be stymied and gently killed by a “nice” culture. Remember, “nice” cultures are really not very nice. As Carolyn McCray says, “You do realize that passive-aggressive behavior is aggressive behavior for cowards, right?” You need to take the fear out of speaking up.
You are expected to lead, so lead. You are also expected to be nice, so be nice. You can do both.
Related content
Related content
Organizations have long wanted to scale coaching, but have been limited by cost and capacity. With AI, that's beginning to change —new platforms are making coaching more accessible, flexible, and available on demand, extending support beyond a select group of leaders to entire populations.
For talent leaders, this shift creates both opportunity and complexity. With greater reach comes a new set of trade-offs: how to balance access with depth, flexibility with accountability, and efficiency with meaningful development.
The limits of unlimited (coaching)
Unlimited coaching sounds like the obvious answer. Remove the barriers, give everyone access, let people engage on their own terms. What's not to like?
In practice, quite a bit.
When coaching has no defined structure or cadence, engagement tends to become episodic - people show up when something feels urgent and step back when it doesn't. The coaching relationship never quite deepens. Conversations cover ground but don't build on it. And the development that was supposed to happen keeps getting pushed to the next session, and the next.
Three patterns emerge:
- Sporadic engagement over sustained development. Without a rhythm to anchor the work, coaching becomes reactive. Clients bring whatever is most pressing that week rather than working toward something larger. Progress happens in bursts, if at all.
- Insights that don't compound. Great coaching reveals patterns over time - things a client can't see in one session but can't unsee after several. Without continuity, and without a consistent coaching relationship to hold the thread, each conversation starts close to zero.
- Outcomes that are hard to measure. No milestones. No defined endpoint. No clear way for the organization, or the client, to know whether it's working. Activity fills the gap where impact should be.
The result is a model that's easy to scale and hard to defend. Which is exactly the problem talent leaders are navigating right now.
The relationship is the lever
Decades of research into what makes coaching work keeps arriving at the same answer: it's the relationship. Not the platform, not the methodology. The relationship.
When a coach and client build trust over time — developing shared language, returning to the same themes with increasing depth — something shifts. Conversations get more honest. Insights stick. The client starts doing the work between sessions, not just during them. That's when coaching becomes genuinely transformative, and it can't be rushed or replicated in a one-off session.
The ICF and EMCC are clear on this: continuity is what dives outcomes. The coaching engagements that produce lasting change are the ones where each session builds on the last, not the ones that simply offer more access.
Three principles make that possible: Consistency, Continuity, and Completion.
1. Consistency
The foundation everything else is built on.
The temptation when designing a coaching program is to treat flexibility as a feature — let people book when they want, swap coaches freely, engage on their own schedule. But frequent coach changes reset the clock. Every new coach has to earn trust, learn context, and find their footing with the client. That's time spent getting started, not getting somewhere.
A stable coaching relationship works differently:
- The coach starts to see around corners — patterns the client can't see themselves
- The client stops performing and starts being honest
- The relationship itself becomes a source of accountability, not just the sessions
Consistency doesn't constrain the work. It's what makes the deeper work possible.
2. Continuity
What turns a series of sessions into genuine development.
Without continuity, coaching tends to be additive at best- each session offers something useful, but nothing compounds. With it, the work builds on itself in ways that can't happen in isolated conversations.
What continuity makes possible
- A limiting belief surfaced in session three becomes a thread that runs through the rest of the engagement
- A behavioral pattern the client couldn't see at the start becomes impossible to ignore by the end
- Space opens up for the harder work - the kind that requires sitting with discomfort across multiple sessions, not resolving it quickly and moving on
That slower, deeper work is where lasting change actually happens. It doesn't come from more sessions. It comes from the right sessions, in the right order, with the same person.
3. Completion
The most underrated principle of the three.
In a world of unlimited access, there's no finish line, and without one, it's surprisingly hard to know what you're working toward, or whether you've gotten there. A defined endpoint changes the entire shape of an engagement.
A clear endpoint
Creates urgency and focuses every session on what matters most
- Shifts the question from "what should we talk about this week?" to "what do we need to accomplish before we're done?"
- Gives both coach and client a body of work to look back on, not just a log of conversations
For talent leaders, this is also what makes coaching legible as an investment. Sessions logged is an activity metric. A cohort of leaders who completed a structured engagement and can articulate what changed, that's a result.
Don't just scale it, design it (here’s how)
The opportunity in front of talent leaders right now is significant. The organizations that will get the most from this moment are the ones that treat coaching design as seriously as coaching delivery.
Practical design decisions
- Define the arc before you launch: set the number of sessions, the cadence, and the goals upfront, not after people have already started booking
- Protect the coaching relationship: Make coach switching the exception, not the default, and design your program to discourage unnecessary re-matches
- Build in milestones: create structured check-ins at the midpoint and end of each engagement so progress is visible to both the coach and the organization
- Separate on-demand support from developmental coaching: Use AI-enabled tools for in-the-moment guidance, and reserve structured engagements for the deeper work
- Measure completion, not just activation: Track how many people finish an engagement, not just how many start one
Questions to pressure-test your design
- Does every participant know what they're working toward before their first session?
- Can your coaches see enough context about a client's journey to pick up where they left off?
- Would you be able to show, at the end of a cohort, what changed, and for whom?
Access opened the door. Intention is what makes it worth walking through.
Three decisions that changed everything.
Two years ago, we made three deliberate decisions about how BTS would move with Applied AI.
We would become our own Customer Zero.
While others were building strategies, defining governance, and waiting for clarity, we made a different call: we decided not to wait. Not because the stakes were low, but because they were high. And because in a space evolving this quickly, clarity wouldn’t come from planning. It would come from movement.
So instead of starting with a roadmap, we started with three principles:
- No top-down mandate. The people closest to the work figure it out.
- IT must evolve from gatekeeper to enabler - leading AI trials and fast experimentation.
- Don’t wait for certainty.
We set the organization in motion, and once we did, things started to move quickly.
What if we started this company today?
Waiting for certainty is itself a choice, and it’s costing companies more than they realize.
We started where we knew the work best: our simulations. No perfect plan, just teams moving, trying, and iterating.
Simulations are core to who we are at BTS. Companies that simulate don’t just make better decisions they execute faster and build more engaged cultures.
The team asked a simple question:
"What if we were to start our company today?”
That question started the flywheel.
They asked IT for a few licenses and started building - vibe-coding, writing agents, and testing tools - moving at a pace that would makeany VC-backed start-up smile.
The messy middle.
At first, the team was underwhelmed.
The early reports were blunt:
“Not good with math.”
“Poor graph capabilities.”
The team wasn't discouraged.
They kept tinkering - jumping between tools, staying on top of new releases, experimenting constantly.
This was a small team, across 24 countries, building off each other’s ideas. Laughing at crazy creations. Breaking things. Iterating in a sandbox alongside real clientwork.
Each cycle produced something:
- A sharper scenario
- A faster build
- A more powerful simulation
The flywheel was turning, and it was generating something real.
When the diamond appeared.
Then something shifted.
The team moved into client trials across five countries. They figured out ISO compliance and built the architecture to handle the complexity, the “spaghetti.”
And what emerged wasn’t incremental:
- What used to take weeks started happening in days.
- Limited creativity started to feel like unlimited innovation.
- Clients became self-serving.
- Agentic simulations were built directly into client systems for real-time updates and preparation.
This was our first AI diamond - a high-impact outcome created by many cycles of experimentation compounding into real value.
It only appeared because we kept the flywheel turning, each cycle increasing the odds that something would break through.
95% adoption in eight weeks.
Then it was time to take the AI diamond global.
BTS is decentralized and highly entrepreneurial. We operate across 24 countries and 38 offices, where local teams have real autonomy.
And historically? That’s meant a low appetite for adopting something built somewhere else and pushed from the center.
So we expected resistance.
Instead, something surprising happened.
In the first eight weeks, we saw 95% adoption across our global footprint.
It felt completely different from our own digital initiatives, ERP implementations, top-down rollouts of the past.
This moved on its own. Why?
We realized it didn’t start with a framework or a model, it started with a feeling.
The feeling of being at the leading edge of one’s craft and profession.
- Joy
- Excitement
- Pride
As we watched this play out across teams it stopped feeling like isolated wins.
There was a pattern to it. A repeatable, organic, innovation motion.
And the flywheel didn’t stop with simulations.
It spread across finance, sales enablement, legal, operations, and client delivery. Some cycles led to small improvements, and others revealed new diamonds.
Not becausewe planned for them, but because we built the conditions for people to find them.
The question I'd ask any CEO right now: Is your flywheel turning, or are you still waiting for the perfect plan?
In part 2, I’ll share the key success factors behind the breakthrough, and what we’re now seeing across more than 120 global clients.
La maggior parte delle riunioni di vendita non fallisce.
Semplicemente non porta a una decisione.
Ed è lì che si perde valore.
I clienti di oggi sono più informati, più selettivi e hanno meno tempo.
Non hanno bisogno di altre presentazioni di prodotto.
Hanno bisogno di conversazioni che li aiutino a stabilire le priorità, decidere e andare avanti.
Eppure, il 58% delle riunioni di vendita non riesce a creare valore reale.
Non perché i venditori manchino di capacità, ma perché le conversazioni non sono progettate per far avanzare le decisioni.
“I clienti non agiscono su ogni esigenza che riconoscono.
Agiscono quando qualcosa diventa una priorità.”
In questo breve executive brief scoprirai:
- Perché la maggior parte delle conversazioni informa… ma non porta all’azione
- Cosa spinge davvero i clienti a stabilire priorità e muoversi
- Come creare urgenza senza compromettere la fiducia
- Il passaggio dal presentare soluzioni al facilitare decisioni
- Cosa distingue le conversazioni che si bloccano da quelle che accelerano il progresso
Se i tuoi team stanno affrontando trattative bloccate, decisioni ritardate o un pipeline lento, questo brief ti aiuterà a capire il perché e cosa fare in modo diverso.
Scarica l’executive brief e scopri come progettare conversazioni che portano davvero a decisioni.