How to make difficult people easier without changing them at all
The other day an SVP of Technology for a large manufacturing company, whom we’ll call Barb, told me she was elated.
In the past two weeks, she had completely turned around a difficult colleague. In fact, something quite important had changed between the two of them and it felt like a complete miracle to Barb.
Barb’s colleague is a woman we’ll call Leslie. Barb must collaborate closely with Leslie, yet she’s been a thorn in Barb’s side for years. Everyone finds her intractable, she gets in the way of delivering on due dates, and negatively impacts the customer experience with her decisions. She’s argumentative, doesn’t listen to other points of view, and only wants things done her way. Barb has found it overwhelming to constantly butt heads with Leslie. Yet together they run a large part of the organization and must work closely with each other, agreeing on both strategy and frequently on tactics. In working with Barb it was clear that she needed the dynamic to change, as it was exhausting her and taking away from the rest of her responsibilities and priorities for the business.
So, how did Barb work this magic with Leslie? How did she transform the person she dreaded speaking with into someone with whom she can have constructive discussions that feel easy and productive? How did she change her nemesis into a true partner in collaboration?
She didn’t. Barb did not change Leslie at all. However, she did change her experience of Leslie and, as a result, the relationship dynamic. In recent conversations and meetings with Leslie, they’ve been able to productively discuss challenging topics and, while they don’t always agree, they come to solutions they can both feel good about. The very conversations Barb has always dreaded are now enjoyable.
Since this situation had been going on for years, Barb found it helpful to step back and get an outside perspective on the situation. Our coaching conversation enabled her to find ways to question her own involvement in the dynamic and productively turn it around.
We’ve all worked with someone like Leslie. It can be quite frustrating to have challenging relationships with difficult people and they can cause tremendous drama and strain to those at all levels around them. It’s also common for relationships like this to create significant negative consequences to the business. And expecting people like Leslie to change – particularly since they have often gone unchecked and unchallenged for years – is a recipe in futility.
However, as we counseled Barb, you can take back control over these kinds of relationships and alter the course for yourself. If you find yourself in a situation like Barb’s, use these three tips for upgrading the dynamic.
- Challenge your own assumptions. If we’re honest with ourselves, we have a lot of assumptions about those we deem difficult. These assumptions may include things like: “she always wants to be right,” ”he doesn’t value my opinion,” or “she isn’t listening.” These assumptions create barriers and get in the way of our ability to give the other person the benefit of the doubt and connect with them to find common ground. When you notice these assumptions taking hold, instead ask yourself, “What am I assuming here? What might this person’s real intent be?”
- Take only what’s yours. I’ve noticed that often, in an effort to shorten interactions with difficult people, leaders will take on responsibilities or tasks so they can bring them to resolution their own way. And, if not taking on the responsibility, they may take on undue worry about it, or extra stress in planning around the interactions. Notice whether this is something you do. If so, you’re taking on the other person’s baggage. Instead, remind yourself in meetings, “This is not my bag to carry.” And be sure to let it go.
- Be direct yet open. The last thing we want to do with challenging colleagues is to be open. The instinct is to keep as much distance as possible. However, the barriers we create often contribute to the difficult dynamic. Push yourself to stop this on your own part. When you notice you are matching the closed nature of your colleague, instead use phrases like: “Help me understand…”, “I’m trying to understand this so I can be helpful…” and “Tell me more…” These phrases, that show your humility, can instantly unlock a dynamic and tear down seemingly impenetrable walls. You may find that when you seek to understand your colleague you may not be so far apart on issues and your colleague may be more open to understanding your perspective.
When you put these tips into practice, you create an atmosphere where others experience you as a restrained, composed, and inclusive leader who resonates with them. As you drop your guard, you let others do the same. Barb was surprised at how well this worked, and how quickly it helped her gain control over a dynamic that had been haunting her for years.
The key to building these habits is to celebrate when you remember to use them. Take stock after meetings to notice when you’ve used these strategies and to learn from missed opportunities. As much as we’d like our most challenging colleagues to change, even when they don’t change, you have great power to change the dynamic!
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Feedback that fuels: A framework to help leaders shift from critique to connection
Feedback is one of the most powerful tools a leader has, shaping both individual and organizational culture. Yet, despite its value, it’s often met with apprehension—seen as judgment rather than an opportunity. Instead of fueling growth, it can create tension, leaving recipients feeling exposed and defensive.
This reaction is natural. Feedback touches on identity, competence, and self-worth. When framed as a verdict rather than an insight, it sparks defensiveness instead of openness. But what if feedback wasn’t about judgment? What if it was a tool for gathering better data—both for the recipient and the leader?
When leaders make feedback a habit, not a performance review, they gain sharper insights, model continuous improvement, and create a culture where learning thrives. The shift from evaluation to empowerment turns feedback into fuel for growth. And at the heart of this shift? Curiosity.
Leading in a MESSY world: Why feedback matters more than ever
Leaders today operate in constant disruption and complexity. They must move beyond assumptions and seek new perspectives. At BTS, we call this operating in a MESSY world:
- M – Making sense of the broader ecosystem
- E – Establishing emotional connections to build trust
- S – Seizing momentum to stay ahead
- S – Sensing the future amid uncertainty
- Y – Yielding ego to create space for others to grow
Feedback is critical in helping leaders navigate these challenges. It’s not just a tool for correction but a catalyst for innovation and collaboration. But without structure, feedback can fall flat. That’s where the AFIRM Model comes in.
Reframing feedback: From evaluation to exploration
Great feedback moves beyond transaction into mutual discovery. When leaders model effective feedback, they foster deeper connections and unlock insights that drive performance.
Curiosity plays a crucial role in this transformation. When leaders approach feedback with genuine curiosity—asking open-ended questions and actively listening—they shift conversations from critique to shared learning. Curiosity also provides leaders with better data on how they show up, helping them refine their approach and model the kind of feedback culture they want to create.
Balancing feedback with efficiency is essential. The AFIRM Model provides a structured approach that makes feedback actionable and constructive while keeping curiosity at the center.
Structure feedback for impact with the AFIRM model
AFIRM enables structured yet flexible conversations—ensuring feedback drives results. It provides a roadmap for leaders to create meaningful, productive discussions that foster growth and accountability. Here’s how it works:
A – Agenda
Set clear intentions. Define the purpose and desired outcomes upfront. A prepared conversation leads to honest, productive dialogue and signals that feedback is a shared responsibility rather than a one-sided critique.
F – Facts, Observations, Evidence
Keep it objective. Base feedback on data and observations to minimize bias. Stay neutral and constructive. Providing fact-based feedback ensures conversations remain focused and prevents emotional reactions that derail progress.
Curiosity fosters deeper dialogue—ask questions, seek perspectives, and pave the way for growth. Instead of assuming why something happened, ask “What led to this?” or “What challenges were you facing?” to create space for honest reflection.
I – Impact
Clarify effects. Who was affected? What were the consequences? Centering feedback on impact builds trust and accountability. Highlighting the broader implications helps individuals understand why feedback matters and how their actions contribute to team success.
R – Request
Co-create a path forward. Define actionable, SMART next steps (Specific, Measurable, Achievable, Realistic, Time-bound). Encourage collaboration by asking “How do you think we can move forward?” or “What support do you need?” Keeping the dialogue open ensures accountability while fostering autonomy.
M – Mutuality
Feedback is a partnership. Success requires shared ownership and commitment to growth. A strong feedback culture thrives when both parties see feedback as a two-way street—leaders should also invite input on how they can better support and enable success. Take time to ask “What feedback do you have for me?” to reinforce that feedback is a mutual learning process.
Creating feedback-driven growth
Imagine an organization where feedback fuels engagement and connection. When framed as a tool for growth rather than judgment, conversations shift from evaluation to exploration. Everyone is on the same team, with the same goals.
Great leaders don’t just give feedback—they seek it, reflect on it, and use it to sharpen their approach. By modeling curiosity and making feedback a daily habit, they foster a culture where feedback is normal, constructive, and empowering.
Feedback isn’t about fixing. It’s about discovering what’s possible. By approaching it as a shared learning opportunity, we move from judgment to collaboration, growth, and transformation.
What’s one question you could ask today to spark a meaningful feedback conversation?
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Leading with others: Embracing a new era of leadership
The landscape of leadership is evolving as newer generations challenge traditional hierarchies. Outdated practices, focused on a top-down power dynamic, have fostered an “us vs. them” mentality, stifling collaboration, slowing innovation, and hindering sustained growth.In response, Future Relevant Organizations are adopting "next practices" that recognize and celebrate contributions, influence, and impact of contributions at all levels of the organization. Central to this shift is the movement from “leading others” to “leading with others,” recognizing that leadership isn’t confined to those in senior positions.“Leading with others” encourages a more inclusive, collaborative approach by:
- Encouraging employees to lead and influence across boundaries.
- Inspiring shared purpose and accountability toward collective goals.
- Prioritizing well-being, fostering psychological safety, and enabling open idea-sharing.
- Viewing vulnerability as a strength, recognizing that no one has all the answers.
- Maintaining focus and thoughtful engagement amidst uncertainty.
A biopharma company with a historically top-down leadership structure offers a clear example of the transformative power of this shift. While the company had enjoyed impressive growth, it faced competitive and pricing pressures from disruptive innovation, regulatory challenges, and supply chain vulnerabilities, all of which called for a fresh approach to leadership. Innovation and expansion were crucial to sustaining success.Recognizing the need for change, the company embraced the idea that leadership and influence aren’t confined to those at the top. Here’s how this new approach reshaped their organization:
- Empowering all levels: Leadership became less about titles and more about fostering a culture where every employee felt valued and capable of contributing. Through well-crafted experiences, 5,000 employees enhanced their self-awareness, challenged established norms, and adopted a long-term perspective aimed at collective growth.
- Redefining leadership: Leadership shifted from micromanagement to empowering others to make meaningful contributions. Employees were given greater agency and ownership, leading to increased adaptability in a dynamic market.
- Building trust through vulnerability: The organization encouraged vulnerability, quickly building trust across teams in an evolving, loosely connected environment. This strengthened team dynamics and established a supportive community ready to face new challenges.
Next practices: Shared leadership responsibility
The shift toward “leading with others” is not simply a change in leadership style; it is a strategic imperative. By embracing diverse perspectives and treating leadership as a collective responsibility, organizations gain more valuable insights that drive better decision-making and innovation. Companies that adopt this approach are better prepared to adapt to change, seize new opportunities, and build a culture where everyone is engaged in shaping the future.
“Leading with”: A more inclusive path forward
Adopting a “leading with others” mindset requires more than just structural changes—it calls for a fundamental shift in how leadership is understood at all levels. Leaders must actively create environments where contributions from all employees are expected, not optional. This inclusive leadership approach fosters a deeper sense of ownership and accountability, empowering employees to align their actions with the organization’s long-term goals.As the business landscape continues to evolve, organizations that embrace this collective approach to leadership will be better positioned not only to navigate uncertainty but also to thrive in the future ensuring future relevance.
Being charismatic… when you're not charismatic
Whether you love or hate the term, it represents an important quality for leaders – the ability to show up in a way that engages others, aligns and motivates them, and that ultimately can rally them to get things done. When working with leaders who are self-identified introverts, they often prickle at the assumption that they need to consciously “extrovert” themselves to demonstrate executive presence. Or be gregarious. Or just “get over” their introversion and become more outgoing.
Recently, a senior technology leader at a large insurance company taking on broader responsibility across his organization reached out. He knew that he wanted to step up his presence and visibility in order to mobilize and inspire the team. He struggled with the idea that he’d have to make a dramatic change from his more analytical, quiet, and introverted approach to better connect with people. “I’m just not an exuberant person,” he said. “Being overly energetic and bubbly doesn’t feel genuine to me. I don’t have it in me to be effusive or over-the-top. I just don’t have charisma.”
He's not alone in that sentiment: many introvert-identifying leaders feel the same way. However, there is another approach. Leaders CAN demonstrate charisma without having to compromise on personal style or authenticity. Step one is aligning on how we define charisma. In this instance, let’s use the traditional Merriam-Webster version: an individual that possesses “a special magnetic charm or appeal.” Something that draws you to another person.
With that in mind, here are seven actions you can take to heighten your “charisma” without feeling like you’re having an out-of-body experience:
- Make eye contact: This is the simplest way to clearly demonstrate that you’re paying attention and interested in what the other person is saying. A good rule of thumb is to maintain eye contact 50 percent of the time when speaking and 70 percent when listening. If that feels uncomfortable, try looking away for four to five seconds at a time and then refocusing.
- Smile more: There’s a great TED talk about the power of smiling. Here’s what you need to know: One smile can generate the same level of brain stimulation as 2,000 bars of chocolate. It reduces stress-inducing (cortisone) and increases mood-enhancing (endorphins) hormones. Also, try not to automatically smile back when someone smiles at you.
- Consider body language: More specifically, tilt forward slightly when in conversation, and keep your arms uncrossed. Use hand gestures to emphasize points. You don’t want to cross into someone’s personal space, but you can send a message that invites the other person to lean in – literally and figuratively.
- Talk about yourself: Talking about things that are important to us is scientifically proven to spark more neural activity in our brains. In other words, self-disclosure, or sharing something you’re passionate about, can create a sense of energy and excitement that can be contagious. In addition, any level of vulnerability in turn gives your audience permission to reciprocate, and they may be more likely to share with you.
- Talk about them: See point #3. Talking about yourself creates connection, which is true for the person you’re talking to as well. Ask them questions about their passions and interests, then listen. Really listen — without interrupting, checking your phone, or bringing the conversation back to you.
- Share stories: Imagine someone who is extremely charismatic. It’s likely you aren’t conjuring up someone who regularly spouts data and facts. A better way to emotionally connect with your audience is to use stories and analogies to make your point. It’s about sharing experiences that have shaped who you are and how you think. And stories are 22 times memorable than facts alone.
- Use real talk: The fastest way to lose someone in a conversation is by using technical jargon or formal, scripted language. Aim to be both conversational AND credible. Try slowing down your pace to be more intentional with your word choice. If you’re using words like “synergy” and “circle back” – you’re doing it wrong.
Bottom line – developing your executive presence and a sense of charisma doesn’t mean having to become someone you’re not, and it doesn’t require a dramatic change. Very small shifts in how you pay attention, convey information, and use body language can have a meaningful effect on how you connect with your audience.
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From top-down to judgment all around: The AI imperative for organizations
Each business revolution has reshaped not only how businesses operate, but how they organize themselves and empower their people. From the industrial age to the information era, and now into the age of artificial intelligence, technology has always brought with it a reconfiguration of authority, capability, and judgment.
In the 19th century, industrialization centralized work and knowledge. The factory system required hierarchical structures where strategy, information, and decision-making were concentrated at the top. Managers at the apex made tradeoffs for the greater good of the enterprise because they were the only ones with access to the full picture.
Then came the information economy. With it came the distribution of information and a need for more agile, team-based structures. Cross-functional collaboration and customer proximity became competitive necessities. Organizations flattened, experimented with matrix models, and pushed decision-making closer to where problems were being solved. What had once been the purview of a select few, judgment, strategic tradeoffs, and insight became expected competencies for managers and team leads across the enterprise.
Now, AI is changing the game again. But this time, it’s not just about access to data. It’s about access to intelligence.
Generative AI democratizes access not only to information, but to intelligent output. That shifts the burden for humans from producing insights to evaluating them. Judgment, which was long the domain of a few executives, must now become a baseline competency for the many across the organization.
But here’s the paradox: while AI extends our capacity for intelligence, discernment, the human ability to weigh context, values, and consequence, is still best left in the hands of human leaders. As organizations begin to automate early-career work, they may inadvertently erase the very pathways and opportunities by which judgment was built.
Why judgment matters more than ever
Deloitte’s 2023 Human Capital Trends survey found that 85% of leaders believe independent decision-making is more important than ever, but only 26% say they’re ready to support it. That shortfall threatens to neutralize the very productivity gains AI promises.
If employees can’t question, challenge, or contextualize AI’s output, then intelligent tools become dangerous shortcuts. The organization stalls, not from a lack of answers, but from a lack of sense-making.
What organizations must do
To stay competitive, organizations must shift from simply adopting AI to designing AI-aware ways of working:
- Build new learning paths for judgment development. As AI replaces easily systematized tasks, companies must replace lost learning experiences with mentorship, simulations, and intentional development planning.
- Design workflows that require human input. Treat AI as a co-pilot, not an autopilot. Embed review checkpoints and tradeoff discussions. Just as innovation processes have stage gates, so should AI analyses.
- Make judgment measurable. Assess and develop decision-making under ambiguity from entry-level roles onward. Research shows the best learning strategy for this is high-fidelity simulations.
- Start earlier. Leadership development must begin far earlier in career paths, because judgment, not just knowledge, is the new differentiator.
What’s emerging is not just a flatter hierarchy, but a more distributed sense of judgment responsibility. To thrive, organizations must prepare their people not to outthink AI, but to out-judge it.
BTS acquires Nexo to strengthen its position in Brazil and Latin America
P R E S S R E L E A S E
Stockholm, May 5, 2025
STOCKHOLM, SWEDEN – BTS Group AB (publ), a leading global consultancy specializing in strategy execution, change, and people development, has agreed to acquire Nexo Pesquisa e Consultoria Ltda., Nexo, a boutique consulting firm headquartered in São Paulo, Brazil.
Nexo has been growing continuously since it was founded in 2017. With revenues of approximately 12 million Brazilian Reales (approx. 2.1 million USD) in 2024, and a highly capable team of 21 members, Nexo has built a strong reputation for delivering transformative projects in strategy, innovation, leadership, and culture.
Nexo collaborates with a great portfolio of clients across sectors such as financial services, consumer goods, and technology, assisting both local and global companies in navigating uncertainty, unlocking creativity, and activating strategy through people. Their work encompasses culture transformation, leadership development, employer value proposition, innovation culture, and vision alignment – supported by proprietary methodologies and frameworks.
BTS currently operates in Brazil servicing both local and multinational clients with a team of 13 employees. By acquiring Nexo, BTS not only increases the Group’s footprint in Brazil but also adds significant capabilities in culture and transformation services. Nexo’s client base has limited overlap with BTS, creating strong growth potential and synergy opportunities.
“Nexo is known for helping leaders and organizations tackle some of the most complex, human-centered challenges with creativity, empathy, and strategic clarity and the Nexo team is loved by their clients,” says Philios Andreou, Deputy CEO of BTS Group and President of the Other Markets Unit. “Their products and services complement and elevate our existing offerings, especially in culture transformation, and we are thrilled to welcome the Nexo team to BTS.”
“We’re excited to join BTS. We’ve long admired BTS’s approach and unique portfolio to support large organizations and leaders in connecting strategy with culture across the organization,” says Andreas Auerbach, co founder of Nexo. “Becoming part of BTS, allows us to scale our impact and bring more value to our clients while staying true to our values and culture,” adds Mariana Lage Andrade, co-founder of Nexo.
Upon completion of the transaction, Nexo’s business and organization will merge with BTS Brazil. Nexo’s founders will assume senior management roles in the joint operation.
The acquisition includes a limited initial cash consideration. Additional purchase price considerations will be paid between 2026 and 2028, provided Nexo meets specific performance targets. A limited portion of any such additional purchase price considerations will be paid in newly issued BTS shares. The transaction is effective immediately.
BTS’s acquisition strategy continues to focus on broadening our service portfolio, expanding our geographic reach, and enhancing our capabilities to support future organic growth in a fragmented market.
For more information, please contact:
Philios Andreou
Deputy CEO
BTS Group AB
philios.andreou@bts.com
Michael Wallin
Head of investor relations
BTS Group AB
michael.wallin@bts.com
+46-8-587 070 02
+46-708-78 80 19
High-performing teaming
Work today is too complex for individuals to succeed in isolation. Almost every critical decision, innovation, or transformation depends on teams working effectively together. Leaders rely on their teams to deliver results. Teams, in turn, rely on their leaders to create the conditions where performance is possible. This exchange, what leaders need from their teams, and what teams need from their leaders, sits at the heart of what we call teaming.
When teaming is strong, leaders get what they need from their teams [creativity, resilience, execution] and teams get what they need from leaders [direction, support, and the conditions to thrive]. It’s how strategy becomes action, how uncertainty becomes opportunity, and how businesses stay competitive in a fast-changing world.