The thank-you trap: the business cost of being too deferential
Regardless of whether you’re presenting a business case internally or looking to sell a product or service to folks beyond your walls, it can be daunting to walk into these high-stakes scenarios. Senior leaders are notoriously busy and impatient, and you need succinct, targeted messages to win them over.
In the course of the work we do with senior leaders to help them communicate more persuasively, we find one somewhat surprising habit that can get them into trouble when communicating upwards with a call to action.
Take one example – a set of leaders we worked with from a global technology firm. These leaders typically call on CIOs and other very senior leaders in the technology function to make the case to buy their products and services. In helping this group to prepare and practice their approach to presenting to this important audience, we found that they all started their presentations this way.
- “Thanks, everyone, for taking time out of your busy schedules to meet with me today.”
- “First of all, I wanted to say how very much I appreciate you giving me the opportunity to meet today.”
As we walked through the initial feedback session, the group felt this was a fine way to start – and one they often rely on in the room. But what stood out to me was the fact that their tone and language was overly deferential. It wasn’t engaging their audience as equals. As I shared with the group, “All of you need to be seen as trusted advisors, strategic partners, and peers to these leaders—rather than as deferential vendors.”
Being overly deferential can show up in a variety of ways. In many “communicating up” situations, high-potential leaders speak way too fast. This comes across as saying, “I know I’m not really worthy of your time, so I will hurry through my content as fast as I can to underscore that fact.” The problem highlighted above – thanking the audience too much – is very common across many different situations.
Some of the leaders we work with push back that this is a problem – they share comments along these lines: “I don’t see anything wrong with this. You need to be courteous.”
This is true, but there’s a big difference between being polite and professional, and using language that highlights the fact that the other party is more powerful and important. In the case of this group of technology leaders, they are all calling on very powerful folks—people who know more about being a CIO and more about their own company than these leaders do.
But what I suggested to them is that they need to remember that they’re the experts in their field and know way more than their prospects do about how to solve the types of problems that their products and services can solve. Furthermore, they know far more than their prospects do about how their fellow CIOs are dealing with these same issues. As I pointed out, “You are in a great position to come across as a strategic partner and peer.”
Being too deferential can hurt your business impact in so many ways. When you’re selling ideas internally or externally, you may not only lose the deal—you may lose future opportunities to have a seat at the table because you aren’t seen as a peer and a partner. You also show that you really don’t know how to communicate up. You can be branded as “not ready” for the next promotion, the next collaboration, or the next deal.
Keeping your deference at bay
Here are six steps to keep your deference in check:
- Don’t fawn over people for taking the time to meet with you. Your time is valuable too.
- Avoid the temptation to give a lengthy history or background. Remember that the best way to be courteous is by being ready to focus on the problems and opportunities that matter to them more than on your own agenda.
- Make the time worth their while by being concise. In just a few minutes, you should be able to cover what the problem or opportunity is, why THIS is the right thing to tackle NOW, and what your idea is for handling it.
- Allow ample time for questions and be ready to go where your audience wants you to go.
- Control your speaking pace. The more important the point you’re making is, the slower you should go.
- Limit your use of PowerPoint slides. Over-reliance on a deck will make it harder to connect personally and may send the message that you don’t really know your stuff.
This peer-to-peer approach literally levels the playing field, making it easier for you to score big when it comes to driving business results.
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La maggior parte delle riunioni di vendita non fallisce.
Semplicemente non porta a una decisione.
Ed è lì che si perde valore.
I clienti di oggi sono più informati, più selettivi e hanno meno tempo.
Non hanno bisogno di altre presentazioni di prodotto.
Hanno bisogno di conversazioni che li aiutino a stabilire le priorità, decidere e andare avanti.
Eppure, il 58% delle riunioni di vendita non riesce a creare valore reale.
Non perché i venditori manchino di capacità, ma perché le conversazioni non sono progettate per far avanzare le decisioni.
“I clienti non agiscono su ogni esigenza che riconoscono.
Agiscono quando qualcosa diventa una priorità.”
In questo breve executive brief scoprirai:
- Perché la maggior parte delle conversazioni informa… ma non porta all’azione
- Cosa spinge davvero i clienti a stabilire priorità e muoversi
- Come creare urgenza senza compromettere la fiducia
- Il passaggio dal presentare soluzioni al facilitare decisioni
- Cosa distingue le conversazioni che si bloccano da quelle che accelerano il progresso
Se i tuoi team stanno affrontando trattative bloccate, decisioni ritardate o un pipeline lento, questo brief ti aiuterà a capire il perché e cosa fare in modo diverso.
Scarica l’executive brief e scopri come progettare conversazioni che portano davvero a decisioni.
A maioria das reuniões de vendas não fracassa.
Elas simplesmente não levam a uma decisão.
E é aí que o valor se perde.
Os clientes de hoje estão mais informados, mais seletivos e com menos tempo.
Eles não precisam de mais apresentações de produto.
Precisam de conversas que os ajudem a priorizar, decidir e avançar.
Ainda assim, 58% das reuniões de vendas não conseguem gerar valor real.
Não porque os vendedores não tenham capacidade, mas porque as conversas não são desenhadas para impulsionar decisões.
“Os clientes não agem sobre todas as necessidades que reconhecem.
Eles agem quando algo se torna prioridade.”
Neste breve material executivo, você vai descobrir:
- Por que a maioria das conversas informa… mas não gera ação
- O que realmente faz os clientes priorizarem e avançarem
- Como criar urgência sem prejudicar a confiança
- A mudança de apresentar soluções para viabilizar decisões
- O que diferencia conversas que estagnam daquelas que aceleram o progresso
Se suas equipes estão enfrentando negócios estagnados, decisões atrasadas ou um pipeline lento, este material vai ajudar você a entender o porquê — e o que fazer de diferente.
Baixe o material executivo e aprenda como desenhar conversas que realmente impulsionam decisões.
La mayoría de las reuniones de ventas no fracasan.
Simplemente no llevan a una decisión.
Y ahí es donde se pierde el valor.
Los clientes de hoy están más informados, son más selectivos y tienen menos tiempo.
No necesitan más presentaciones de producto.
Necesitan conversaciones que les ayuden a priorizar, decidir y avanzar.
Y, sin embargo, el 58% de las reuniones de ventas no logra generar un valor real.
No porque los vendedores carezcan de capacidad, sino porque las conversaciones no están diseñadas para impulsar decisiones.
“Los clientes no actúan sobre cada necesidad que reconocen.
Actúan cuando algo se convierte en una prioridad.”
En este breve informe ejecutivo descubrirás:
Por qué la mayoría de las conversaciones informan… pero no generan acción
- Qué es lo que realmente hace que los clientes prioricen y avancen
- Cómo crear urgencia sin dañar la confianza
- El cambio de presentar soluciones a facilitar decisiones
- Qué diferencia a las conversaciones que se estancan de las que aceleran el avance
Si tus equipos están experimentando acuerdos estancados, decisiones retrasadas o un pipeline lento, este informe te ayudará a entender por qué y qué hacer diferente.
Descarga el informe ejecutivo y aprende a diseñar conversaciones que realmente impulsen decisiones.